I met a house that wasn’t there

Oh how quickly I became fixated on this putative house, the one that might not even exist.

Knowing it might not have been built didn’t stop me from snapping into full-on obsessive mode. I kept calling it “this putative house” because we honestly didn’t know whether it was even work in progress. What we called a house could have been no more than a line of breeze blocks in the mud. Excitement levels rose and I found myself unable to think of much else.

Then lo and behold our estate agent friend emailed to tell us that the house does exist, and is the only one of the five houses in the development to be almost finished (finished enough for the developer to camp out there while work on the houses continues – I don’t know how I feel about this, if I was going to live in a new place I kind of wanted it to be untouched by anyone but us).

This has further fuelled my excitement, but also my anxiety, because things are starting to seem real. I haven’t slept much since my last post, which feels like months ago. I have been to three yoga classes and found myself unable to calm my mind. Because now I know the house is real, my mind has moved onto practical matters. How do you expand into a much bigger space? How do you start from scratch in a house that has no curtains, that probably needs decorating throughout, that will need to be made to feel warm (both literally and metaphorically) before it can be a home?

I can’t stop thinking about it. I found myself browsing furniture websites until Tilly, my wise niece, suggested that I put my credit cards away and make a board on Pinterest. My fantasy house now has those curtains, and a dining table that can actually seat more than four, and some interesting bookcases and table lamps. I apparently feel the urge to go for a mix of traditional and vintage, probably because I worry that a new build could feel sterile and I don’t want to feed into that with modern furniture.

I keep on reminding myself that it is still a fantasy house, no matter how real the bricks and mortar. There are important steps to go through before we know if this is a real possibility. The estate agent needs to prepare her report and send it to us, and who knows, something contained within might stop us in our tracks. If we like what we see in the report, we’ll go down next weekend and actually take a look at the house; we may not like it then.

And there are still so many things I don’t quite understand… if the house is ready for sale as soon as it’s completely finished, but we’re not ready until we’ve sold our flat and Harry’s worked out his notice period, what happens then? Because somehow we have gone from having two years to get our London flat ready for sale to potentially doing it in about three months. All a bit scary.


This blog shows you the most recent post first. To see where our journey began scroll down or click here


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